The bottle-nosed whale is a furlong long
And likewise wise but headstrong strong
And he sings this very lugubrious song
As he sails through the great Antarctic Ocean blue:

Oh, why do I swim through seas antarctical, Ooooo
Freezing cold in every particle, Ooooo?
Some porpoises invited me to come and join their school;
They brought me here then swam away and shouted April Fool!
If ever I catch that school of porpoises, Ooooo
They won't get no Habeas Corpuses, Ooooo.
I'm lost and alone in a frozen zone
And I'm almost frozen too,
A shivering, quivering bottle-nosed whale,
The bottle-nosed whale with the flu-oo-oo Oo-ooooo

Oh, I used to play like a gay Leviathan, Ooooo
Squirting up jets like a soda siaphon, Ooooo;
Now every time I try to lift my hanky to my nose
A great harpoon goes whistling by,
To a shout of, “There she blows!”

I like my oceans equatorial, Ooooo
Where the water's warm and the breeze less Boreal. Ooooo.
It's Fahrenheit minus twenty-nine, and I don't know what to do,
A rubbery, blubbery bottle-nosed whale,
The bottle-nosed whale with the flu-oo-oo Oo-ooooo

Though red your nose, though your toes are froze,
Though cold it seems to you,
Remember the tale of the bottle nosed whale
Who has not even got his own hot water bot.,
The bottle nosed-whale with the flu-oo-oo Oo-ooooo

The bottle-nosed dolphin's a furlong long
And likewise wise but headstrong strong
And he sings this very lugubrious song
As he sails through the North Pacific waters blue:

Oh, why do I swim through seas so Arctical, Ooooo
Freezing cold in every particle, Ooooo?
I'm lost and alone in a frozen zone
And it's almost frozen me,
A shivering, quivering Tursiops t.,
Tursiops truncatus abductee-ee-ee Ee-eeeee

Oh, I used to play like a gay Leviathan, Ooooo
Squirting up jets like a soda siaphon, Ooooo;
Now every time I try to lift my hanky to my nose
A great harpoon goes whistling by,
To a shout of, “There she blows!”

I like my oceans equatorial, Ooooo
Where the water's warm and the breeze less Boreal. Ooooo.
It's Fahrenheit barely twenty-nine, and I don't know what to do,
A rubbery, blubbery T. truncatoo,
The bottle-nosed dolphin with the flu-oo-oo Oo-ooooo